I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
