So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
