My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
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