I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
So squirting runs in the family.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
This is my gift to your gina
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
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