Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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