i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Just invented taco cereal.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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