You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
