Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I just forgot I was standing up.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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