i think i have herpe
just one?
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Randomize
