i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
