sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
