So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
you didnt know i had herpes?
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
