Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
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