Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
We talked him into tasing himself.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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