he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Randomize