So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
