apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
