Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
