K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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