Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
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