Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
We have started to decorate penises.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Randomize
