She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
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