i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
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