this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Randomize
