my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
