honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Randomize
