so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
We are all done wearing pants today
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Randomize
