in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
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