Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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