why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize