There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
