She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
