You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Randomize
