I wanna passion pit in your ass
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
