Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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