it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Randomize
