i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
