Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Randomize
