Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
