NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
