Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Is Oprah even human
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
