so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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