Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
He did a backflip because drugs
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
