Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
My Higher Power is John Stamos
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Randomize
