I can tuck mytits in my pants
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
