Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize