Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
