That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Randomize
