you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Randomize
