did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
