in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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