I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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