so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Randomize
