I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Randomize
