I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
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