My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize