i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
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