i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
