so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Randomize
