Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
