Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
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