She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
