You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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